I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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