there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you never un-have a 4some
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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