I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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