I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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