I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
