Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
