By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just puked most of my soul out..
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