We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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