Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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