Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
