the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
