i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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