you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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