I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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