I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize