My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
