laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
