You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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