his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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