It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
