Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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