we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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