So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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