I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
