Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
