His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I smell like Dick and happiness
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
