Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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