Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
