Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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