My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
