Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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