even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
