the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
