I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
