adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
