girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
