We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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