So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
did you just send me my own nude
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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