doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
