One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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