Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
MIDGETS
????
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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