My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
