I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
