Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
