Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
