He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
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I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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