why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
