my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
