I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize