I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize