New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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