my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
