I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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