and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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