dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
