Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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