at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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