Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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