This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
