There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
