i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm always down for nudity.
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