He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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