You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
