so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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